domingo, 28 de octubre de 2012
De regreso
Llevo sentada un buen rato frente a mi computadora sin poder
escribir una palabra. El cursor aparece y desaparece amenazante mientras ‘Wild
horses’ sale de mis audífonos.
Después de una tarde en familia, plática de celular con una
amiga y un intercambio corto de mensajes subidos de tono con quien próximamente
estará en la ciudad, me dispongo a empezar uno de los libros que mi jefe me ha
pedido que lea. Empiezo a hojear y recuerdo haber leído alguno de sus capítulos
en la universidad, y sin embargo hay algo que hace que no cierre el libro y
piense en alguna excusa para devolverlo el Lunes, creo que es el Inglés. Tomo
apuntes.
Es curioso como una persona puede darte tanta inspiración,
como para empezar un blog y tomar la fotografía como un hobby serio, y sin
embargo, que esa misma persona haga que (in)conscientemente lo dejes todo, sin
abrir el blog, sin escribir las anécdotas vividas y guardar la cámara en lo más
alto del armario para no verla y no tener uno de esos deja vú que te hacen
perder el equilibrio mientras se encoge el corazón.
Es obvio que no se puede evitar lo que creemos y pretendemos
hacer inevitable. Es solo una evasión temporal, porque tarde o temprano hay que
enfrentar lo que tenemos frente a nosotros para poder seguir adelante. Es el
mismo efecto del cerebro y la nariz – nuestros ojos ven nuestra nariz todo el
tiempo, pero el cerebro decide ‘esconderla’ de nuestro campo de visión. La
diferencia es que en este caso tenemos no 2, sino 3 objetos que quieren dominar:
los recuerdos, el cerebro y el corazón. ¿Hay alguna teoría para eso? Creo que
no, y si la hubiera el resultado no sería un nuevo amor, y si el tiempo.
Tiempo para recobrar las fuerzas, la energía, para enfriar la
cabeza y poder pensar con claridad, hacer nuevos planes que ahora incluyen sólo
a una persona, para demostrarme y demostrarle al mundo que estoy bien y que
estaré mejor. Creo que éste último punto, es el más sorprendente, cuando volteas
y ves lo superado, lo alcanzado y lo bien que uno esta consigo mismo.
Hace casi un año que no pongo ojo por aquí, y creo que es
hora de hacerlo de nuevo, regresar a vaciar la mente de los pensamientos del
día a día. A lo mejor, la inspiración no es la de antes, a lo mejor esa
inspiración se fue con él, a lo mejor no… prefiero pensar qué cambio, maduró
(quiero pensar que no sólo la inspiración) y que lo que se viene de ahora en
adelante será mejor, como lo ha sido este año.
Un resumen de lo que ha pasado desde ese inigualable Septiembre:
-
Adiós al compromiso, planes de boda y adiós a
él.
-
Nuevo trabajo.
-
Año nuevo (2012)
-
Cambio de puesto.
-
Una buena bronca laboral.
-
Aumento de salario.
-
Promoción laboral.
-
1° aniversario laboral.
-
Visitas a/de amigos del intercambio.
-
Más estrés y caída de cabello.
-
Dieta (que hasta la fecha ha resultado en la
pérdida de unos 15 kilos, aproximadamente).
-
Bodas, hijos y reuniones de amigos de
universidad.
-
Un español con un acento irresistible.
-
Un excéntrico personaje de ojos claros, que
camina por mi escritorio varias veces por día, mientras yo simulo no ver.
-
Caer en la cuenta de varias cosas, tratando de
no despegar los pies del suelo.
El amor es la arrogancia
de aferrarse a lo imposible. Es buscar en otra parte lo que no encuentras en
tí...
A la próxima, pronto…
domingo, 6 de mayo de 2012
Just a thought
"I don't want a perfect person
I just want someone to act silly with,
someone who treats me well,
and loves being with me
more than everything."
I just want someone to act silly with,
someone who treats me well,
and loves being with me
more than everything."
viernes, 27 de abril de 2012
Beautiful Men
DEAR BEAUTIFUL MEN:
If you want to change the world… Love a woman - really Love her. Find the one who calls to your soul, who doesn’t make sense.
Throw away your check list and put your ear to her heart and listen.Hear the names, the prayers, the songs of every living thing-every winged one, every furry and scaled one,every underground and underwater one, every green and flowering one,every not... yet born and dying one…
Hear their melancholy praises back to the One who gave them life.If you haven’t heard your own name yet, you haven’t listened long enough.
If your eyes aren’t filled with tears, if you aren’t bowing at her feet, you haven’t ever grieved having almost lost her.If you want to change the world…
Love a woman - one womanbeyond yourself, beyond desire and reason,beyond your male preferences for youth, beauty and varietyand all your superficial concepts of freedom.
We have given ourselves so many choices we have forgotten that true liberation comes from standing in the middle of the soul’s fire and burning through our resistance to Love.
There is one Goddess in every woman. Look into Her eyes and see-really see if she is the one to bring the axe to your head. If not, walk away. Right now. Don’t waste time “trying.”
Know that your decision has nothing to do with her because ultimately it’s not with who, but when we choose to surrender.
If you want to change the world… Love a woman. Love her for life - beyond your fear of death,beyond your fear of being manipulated by the Mother inside your head.
Don’t tell her you’re willing to die for her. Say you’re willing to LIVE with her, plant trees with her and watch them grow.
Be her hero by telling her how beautiful she is in her vulnerable majesty, by helping her to remember every day that she IS Goddess through your adoration and devotion.
If you want to change the world… Love a woman in all her faces, through all her seasons and she will heal you of your schizophrenia-your double-mindedness and half-heartedness which keeps your Spirit and body separate-which keeps you alone and always looking outside your Selffor something to make your life worth living.
There will always be another woman. Soon the new shiny one will become the old dull one and you’ll grow restless again, trading in women like cars, trading in the Goddess for the latest object of your desire.
Man doesn’t need any more choices. What man needs is a Woman, the Way of the Feminine, of Patience and Compassion, non-seeking, non-doing, of breathing in one place and sinking deep intertwining roots strong enough to hold the Earth together while she shakes off the cement and steel from her skin.
If you want to change the world… Love a woman, just one woman. Love and protect her as if she is the last holy vessel.
Love her through her fear of abandonment which she has been holding for all of humanity.
No, the wound is not hers to heal alone. No, she is not weak in her co-dependence. If you want to change the world…
Love a woman all the way through until she believes you,until her instincts, her visions, her voice, her art, her passion, her wildness have returned to her ...
... until she is a force of Love more powerful than all the political media demons who seek to devalue and destroy her.
If you want to change the world, lay down your causes, your guns and protest signs.
Lay down your inner war, righteous anger and Love a woman…beyond all of your striving for greatness, beyond your tenacious quest for enlightenment.
The holy grail stands before you if you would only take her in your arms and let go of searching for something beyond this intimacy.
What if peace is a dream which can only be re-memberedthrough the heart of the feminine, in man or woman?
What if a man’s Love for Woman, the Way of the Feminine is the key to opening Her (and His) heart?
If you want to change the world…Love a woman to the depths of your shadow, to the highest reaches of your Being,back to the Garden where you first met her,to the gateway of the rainbow realmwhere you walk through together as Light as One,to the point of no return,to the ends and the beginning of a new Earth..."
To be a man and love a woman like this, she must be the kind of woman that *could* be loved like this.
♥ A woman leading her body, her life with trust, compassion and willingness. A woman that values, honors and allows her vulnerability to be witnessed, plunged into, ravished ... A woman who communicates, stands in her center and opens herself wider, and wider ... and wider, again. She sings her song and dances her dance in full confident feminine expression - And she honors him, his dance, his direction - yet ONLY because she honors her feminine and His masculine purpose NATURALLY fulfills her... "Here" - she knows she is home...♥ ♥
If you want to change the world… Love a woman - really Love her. Find the one who calls to your soul, who doesn’t make sense.
Throw away your check list and put your ear to her heart and listen.Hear the names, the prayers, the songs of every living thing-every winged one, every furry and scaled one,every underground and underwater one, every green and flowering one,every not... yet born and dying one…
Hear their melancholy praises back to the One who gave them life.If you haven’t heard your own name yet, you haven’t listened long enough.
If your eyes aren’t filled with tears, if you aren’t bowing at her feet, you haven’t ever grieved having almost lost her.If you want to change the world…
Love a woman - one womanbeyond yourself, beyond desire and reason,beyond your male preferences for youth, beauty and varietyand all your superficial concepts of freedom.
We have given ourselves so many choices we have forgotten that true liberation comes from standing in the middle of the soul’s fire and burning through our resistance to Love.
There is one Goddess in every woman. Look into Her eyes and see-really see if she is the one to bring the axe to your head. If not, walk away. Right now. Don’t waste time “trying.”
Know that your decision has nothing to do with her because ultimately it’s not with who, but when we choose to surrender.
If you want to change the world… Love a woman. Love her for life - beyond your fear of death,beyond your fear of being manipulated by the Mother inside your head.
Don’t tell her you’re willing to die for her. Say you’re willing to LIVE with her, plant trees with her and watch them grow.
Be her hero by telling her how beautiful she is in her vulnerable majesty, by helping her to remember every day that she IS Goddess through your adoration and devotion.
If you want to change the world… Love a woman in all her faces, through all her seasons and she will heal you of your schizophrenia-your double-mindedness and half-heartedness which keeps your Spirit and body separate-which keeps you alone and always looking outside your Selffor something to make your life worth living.
There will always be another woman. Soon the new shiny one will become the old dull one and you’ll grow restless again, trading in women like cars, trading in the Goddess for the latest object of your desire.
Man doesn’t need any more choices. What man needs is a Woman, the Way of the Feminine, of Patience and Compassion, non-seeking, non-doing, of breathing in one place and sinking deep intertwining roots strong enough to hold the Earth together while she shakes off the cement and steel from her skin.
If you want to change the world… Love a woman, just one woman. Love and protect her as if she is the last holy vessel.
Love her through her fear of abandonment which she has been holding for all of humanity.
No, the wound is not hers to heal alone. No, she is not weak in her co-dependence. If you want to change the world…
Love a woman all the way through until she believes you,until her instincts, her visions, her voice, her art, her passion, her wildness have returned to her ...
... until she is a force of Love more powerful than all the political media demons who seek to devalue and destroy her.
If you want to change the world, lay down your causes, your guns and protest signs.
Lay down your inner war, righteous anger and Love a woman…beyond all of your striving for greatness, beyond your tenacious quest for enlightenment.
The holy grail stands before you if you would only take her in your arms and let go of searching for something beyond this intimacy.
What if peace is a dream which can only be re-memberedthrough the heart of the feminine, in man or woman?
What if a man’s Love for Woman, the Way of the Feminine is the key to opening Her (and His) heart?
If you want to change the world…Love a woman to the depths of your shadow, to the highest reaches of your Being,back to the Garden where you first met her,to the gateway of the rainbow realmwhere you walk through together as Light as One,to the point of no return,to the ends and the beginning of a new Earth..."
To be a man and love a woman like this, she must be the kind of woman that *could* be loved like this.
♥ A woman leading her body, her life with trust, compassion and willingness. A woman that values, honors and allows her vulnerability to be witnessed, plunged into, ravished ... A woman who communicates, stands in her center and opens herself wider, and wider ... and wider, again. She sings her song and dances her dance in full confident feminine expression - And she honors him, his dance, his direction - yet ONLY because she honors her feminine and His masculine purpose NATURALLY fulfills her... "Here" - she knows she is home...♥ ♥
domingo, 8 de abril de 2012
Inspiration
If you pick me a flower, I’ll wear it in my hair. I’ll stash little notes for you where you least expect them. I don’t have many firsts left, but I’d like someone who I could offer all of my lasts. We’ll make history together. I’ll wait for you even if you’re late - and I won’t complain about it. Promise. Kindness to cashiers, valets, waiters and maddeningly slow postal clerks who would try the patience of Gandhi is a must. I will feel safe and most at peace in your arms. When you’re counting aloud, I’ll try and mess you up. I’ll find you magically delicious. I’ll let you be right when it doesn’t really matter. I’ll giggle when you show off and I know it’s just for me. I’ll hold your coffee while you drive. I can build a fire without burning the house down. If you wash the car with me - I promise to wear a white t-shirt for you. I‘ll hide around corners and try to scare you in the middle of the night. Of course, I’ll end up scaring myself and you’ll have to calm me down. I can change a flat tire and my own oil. It’s the simple things you do that make me swoon the most. I love it when you sing to me. I’ll make you mickey mouse pancakes. Sleeping in has a whole new meaning when we’re doing it together. I’ll cover you up and kiss your forehead when you fall asleep watching TV. I won’t swear around your family or make you wear silly sweaters at my family’s at Christmas. I’ll grant you three wishes. I’ll give you the last bite. I’ll make you laugh. I will marvel at your strength. I’ll take care of you when you’re sick. I give a kick ass massage. I think it’s hot when you come home all dirty from playing or working hard. My heart will skip a beat every time you walk through the door. My kisses will take your breath away - seriously. I’ll giggle if you leave your socks on in bed. My quirks and oddities have been deemed ‘adorable’ by some and I will love you more everyday for all of yours. I will hold you when you need it. I’ll give you space when you need it. I will let you be you. You’ll sleep better when I’m next to you. I’ll sleep better when I’m next to you. I’ll thank you every time you open a door for me. I’ll never give you shit in front of your friends. I won’t ever let you leave for work in the morning without your lunch and a passionate kiss. We can watch your movie first. I’ll clean the house perfectly before every time your mom comes by. I’ll watch horror movies when I’m with you, but only as long as you hold me close. I don’t litter. I love when you pull me down to sit on your lap. I’ll love it when you lay your head on my chest in bed. I can be ready (shower and all) in half an hour. I’ll look cute as hell in your shirt in the morning. I can balance a checkbook. I can never turn down a challenge. I’ll fit perfectly in your arms. I’ll understand if you get jealous - and do my best to show you that you have no reason. Hand-written love notes will get you laid every time. I can totally keep a secret. I’m pretty damn funny and will do anything to make you laugh. You will always look hot to me in the morning. I think it’s cute when you eat off my plate. When you’re sleeping, I’ll try to stay quiet. I’ll call when I say I will. Treat me like a woman and I’ll treat you like a man. To clarify: I’m not looking for a savior, a fix-up project, or anything of that sort. I’m looking for a man who quite simply adds something extraordinary and special to my life. And I to him. A fair exchange, an amazing mind, body and soul connection and a place to build something magnificent.
If you pick me a flower, I’ll wear it in my hair. I’ll stash little notes for you where you least expect them. I don’t have many firsts left, but I’d like someone who I could offer all of my lasts. We’ll make history together. I’ll wait for you even if you’re late - and I won’t complain about it. Promise. Kindness to cashiers, valets, waiters and maddeningly slow postal clerks who would try the patience of Gandhi is a must. I will feel safe and most at peace in your arms. When you’re counting aloud, I’ll try and mess you up. I’ll find you magically delicious. I’ll let you be right when it doesn’t really matter. I’ll giggle when you show off and I know it’s just for me. I’ll hold your coffee while you drive. I can build a fire without burning the house down. If you wash the car with me - I promise to wear a white t-shirt for you. I‘ll hide around corners and try to scare you in the middle of the night. Of course, I’ll end up scaring myself and you’ll have to calm me down. I can change a flat tire and my own oil. It’s the simple things you do that make me swoon the most. I love it when you sing to me. I’ll make you mickey mouse pancakes. Sleeping in has a whole new meaning when we’re doing it together. I’ll cover you up and kiss your forehead when you fall asleep watching TV. I won’t swear around your family or make you wear silly sweaters at my family’s at Christmas. I’ll grant you three wishes. I’ll give you the last bite. I’ll make you laugh. I will marvel at your strength. I’ll take care of you when you’re sick. I give a kick ass massage. I think it’s hot when you come home all dirty from playing or working hard. My heart will skip a beat every time you walk through the door. My kisses will take your breath away - seriously. I’ll giggle if you leave your socks on in bed. My quirks and oddities have been deemed ‘adorable’ by some and I will love you more everyday for all of yours. I will hold you when you need it. I’ll give you space when you need it. I will let you be you. You’ll sleep better when I’m next to you. I’ll sleep better when I’m next to you. I’ll thank you every time you open a door for me. I’ll never give you shit in front of your friends. I won’t ever let you leave for work in the morning without your lunch and a passionate kiss. We can watch your movie first. I’ll clean the house perfectly before every time your mom comes by. I’ll watch horror movies when I’m with you, but only as long as you hold me close. I don’t litter. I love when you pull me down to sit on your lap. I’ll love it when you lay your head on my chest in bed. I can be ready (shower and all) in half an hour. I’ll look cute as hell in your shirt in the morning. I can balance a checkbook. I can never turn down a challenge. I’ll fit perfectly in your arms. I’ll understand if you get jealous - and do my best to show you that you have no reason. Hand-written love notes will get you laid every time. I can totally keep a secret. I’m pretty damn funny and will do anything to make you laugh. You will always look hot to me in the morning. I think it’s cute when you eat off my plate. When you’re sleeping, I’ll try to stay quiet. I’ll call when I say I will. Treat me like a woman and I’ll treat you like a man. To clarify: I’m not looking for a savior, a fix-up project, or anything of that sort. I’m looking for a man who quite simply adds something extraordinary and special to my life. And I to him. A fair exchange, an amazing mind, body and soul connection and a place to build something magnificent.
sábado, 10 de julio de 2010
Un verano diferente…
Verano, se supone que debe ser una época linda
Verano, de descanso
Verano, sin presiones escolares
Verano, sin alarmas interrumpiendo sueños
Verano, con la realidad diferente
Verano, nada como se había pensado
Verano, de intervenciones quirúrgicas
Verano, sin hermana
Verano, con poco tiempo
Verano, de muchos pendientes
Verano, de fotos por tomar
Verano, de sueños
Verano, que aún no termina
Verano, que todo mejorará
Verano, diferente.
Verano, de descanso
Verano, sin presiones escolares
Verano, sin alarmas interrumpiendo sueños
Verano, con la realidad diferente
Verano, nada como se había pensado
Verano, de intervenciones quirúrgicas
Verano, sin hermana
Verano, con poco tiempo
Verano, de muchos pendientes
Verano, de fotos por tomar
Verano, de sueños
Verano, que aún no termina
Verano, que todo mejorará
Verano, diferente.
Más de un año...
Ha pasado un año desde que empecé a escribir aquí, con deseos de expresar lo que sentía, pensaba, así como hechos que fueron importantes a partir de entonces. Muchas cosas hemos pasado y eso nos va haciendo más fuertes. Estamos viviendo en el último año de la primera década del nuevo siglo… lo que sea que eso signifique. ¿A dónde vamos?, ¿qué nos espera?
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